Losing Grip

Someone please give me a big slap to wake me up from the summer spring dream.

Im showered by delightful sunshine that brings endless laughter and sweetness of life. Im nolonger neutral like nothing too happy, nothing too sad; no love but no hates; no up yet no down.

I've freaked out for losing the ultimate balance of emotions and noticed that Im experiencing e.m.o.t.i.o.n.s with my soul and flesh. I thought I have already freaking immuned from being ovewhelm.

Its the overwhelming satisfactions, that makes me hope makes me lookin forward makes me fantasize. Im too chicken to make things happen, yet Im truly understand that I shudnt lead things on in such pace when Im still confused.

Its the overwhelming dissapointments, because I've finally accepted that he've moved on and I am finally have to be independent. I put in extra effort in order to grow, thinking that I can make him proud. God knows that it doesnt turn out well, but terrible unexpected stupid issues keep popping up to mess things up constantly.

I thought Im landed. Infact that Im not but still hanging. Or maybe floating? Or falling? Or raising.

. . . Get me away from here, dont make me feel . . .