My life still goes on.

Got my arse out of my bed and pillows. Dress up, meet friends, drink, have some comfort food.


la bodega

Been to Bangsar Telawi for a weekday casual girls’ outing. Had banana leaf, then moved to La Bodega Lounge (gosh how many years I have never been there and their cocktails still kick ass).

We had Strawberry Frozen Margarita, first time in life I thought a cocktail is too sweet. We listened some Jazz, and I thought I am always prefer bosa nova.


Been to Skybar, Traders Hotel. Found this fake-candle-but-look-so-real but still so romantic.


 Oh Sushi

Been to Oh Sushi, Mid Valley. Had some jap food and thought that I would prefer Zanmai and even better Hajime.


 tess stimson

The book that I am currently reading (which is terrifying and sarcastic sometimes I felt like given big bitch slap). It doesn’t really help, when the bitch is noone else but you yourself.



My life still goes on.

It leads to no where, yet.



当爱 放不下的时候


一直一直走下去 是不是真的就可以遗忘

一天一天过去 记忆是不是就会因满载而被取代


这么久了 为什么那温柔还依然温暖



还是越想遗忘 就越是深刻




Dear Cecelia Ahern, please bring me another story as touchy as P.S I Love You

*** *** ***


First and foremost, I shall apologize for the inconsistent maintenance to my dearie bloggie. I was sulked in the past two weeks, rolled up in all gloomy doomy emotional downturn. And I wouldn’t know how to put this into a story.


*** *** ***

Early that night I was joyfully writing up about my HK trip, humming happy tunes while going through those Ocean Park photos.

Later that night I was told that I wasn’t, and isn’t the only one. Suddenly everything has fallen apart.

The world changed too fast, sometimes people might not able to cope with it’s pace.


It’s been two weeks, or more.

I can barely recall how I survived through the following days. It was so bleak, and so blank. I kind of remembering myself to work, to eat, to talk, to go home and then bathe myself and curled up in bed – that’s where all my normality ends.

Sometimes a phone call or an MSN alert pulled me back to reality. I remembered how to chat, how to smile. But I have forgotten how to feel.

I wasn’t, and isn’t the only one. These words aren’t a dagger. A dagger may poke through your flesh and then heart, you may greedily take a last breath and then gone. These words are probably a rod, or rope, you may survive through the whipping, but each and every whip may takes your flesh away, bit by bit, and you stay and struggle till the endless end.






I have never been through such pain, such hopeless struggle. I confessed that I do not intend to tell my story here and now. I just need a channel to release.

I just do not know how to put this into story.


God, if you can hear me, wake me up from the nightmare, bring me back to where I belonged. Grant me a miracle that I wished to be granted, or take away the evil within and set me free.

Thank you, with love.









Patrick Antonelle - Wall Street 1945

Stumbled upon Patrick Antonelle’s art pieces. Beautiful.


Be Right Back

I have only found out how fascinating it is - after one year.


First week of 2010

I felt as though I was a walking corpse in the past one week.



I thought I was seeing the world spinning during work. I didn’t feel like I was living that day.

Later of the day, I went for dinner with Mickey Mouses and reached home in drowsiness. I felt as though my body heat can burn me, but I was shivering in cold.

Amidst the semi-consciousness, I saw him. Oh he sneaked in, I thought to myself. So I cuddled him tight and slept for a better half a night.



I still didn’t feel that I was living.

Sleeping at home most of the time, taking a day of sick leave without the approval of my bosses. He doubted if I was really ill.



I was alright for whole day, I can even out chilling. Still a little coughing, but I was alright.

I thought everything was over and started to get ready for the new year party next day.



I have got my party dress ready, been planning who and where to celebrate the coming of the brand new year.

I worked till late, helping up my mother as she isn’t quite well. I planned to get things done as early as possible so I can join the world to count down the new year.

Late evening, the familiar drowsiness hits my head, my party spirit gone weaker and weaker.

10pm plus I head back home, feeble and senile had eventually took away my party spirit. I laid on my bed right after shower.

I barely felt that I was living. I saw mother walked in and caress my forehead and then she told my dad that I was burning. I closed my eyes, phone rang, I managed to pick up some attempted to reject the friendly party invites, tried to apologize. I heard dad and mom having conversation about my ill.

Late night I saw him sneaked in again, he brought medicines and bye-bye fever sheets, I tried to cuddle him and sleep better but it wasn’t happen, I had nightmares, I sat up in the middle of night and cough and cried. I shivered but I was feeling burning hot.



Brother and dad went outstation, I went to work, I fetched grandpa to hospital for his regular visit, I went see doctor myself in a nearby clinic. I went dinner at his place because mom wants to.

I tried to live normal, but my body responded quickly to those medicines.



My days went blurred since I have started taking doctor’s prescriptions. I wasn’t quite well responsive to the antibiotics, it caused diaherra and growth of body acnes and irregular greasy at the roots of my hair. I know, because it’s not the first time I experience these symptoms.

I can hardly recall my day.



Finally I was feeling a little bit more human.

I remembered I had breakfast with my family, at least.

I remembered we went to see the still constructing new house and then I coughed non stop until I puked and I still cough, dad immediately send me back home, and then I took medicine and slept.

At least I manage to wake up at night and read a bit before I sleep again.



I thought I was alright, again.

Not until late evening I coughed myself to vomit again. I coughed as though I am going to cough till my last breath.

But no, I coughed until I fell asleep with the result of cough mixture till the very late night.

And I am here writing this post, now and still coughing.


God, if you can hear me, let me get well soon. Thank you.


New Year


Meet my new year party mates!

The clan has grown even stronger up to now.



Anyway, welcome 2010. Happy New Year folks :)

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